Depending on God

To be completely honest, sometimes I wake up in the morning and wonder why on earth we are here. Knowing I will be heading to the hospital shortly seems daunting. Where did all those dreams go of being able to help so many people? The excitement of leading a life for Christ, feelings of being able to conquer the world?

Well, I know what happened... real life set in. We have been in Rwanda 10 months now. My feelings now are a bit difficult to explain. Some days I feel like I am barely able to keep my head above water. The constant challenges with language, changes in culture, shortages of supplies at the hospital as well as lower standards of care make being at the hospital on a daily basis difficult. Emotionally challenging to say the least. How I miss working with my old crew back in the states. Where things were clean, we had consistent supplies, where I could talk to my patients and their families without an interpreter, where I had other nurses to confer with. Where I didn't see children everyday that were malnourished or burned, or see so many people with osteomyelitis or post op infections. Some of these, like the burns, being so hard on my heart, wondering why on earth it happens and why so very frequently. It can be explained to me so many times and yet I cannot fathom why it happens. One of the things I will never fully understand about this way of life.

All I can say is thank goodness I have our Lord to depend on. Without Him, I could not do this. He gives me strength everyday to carry out what He called us here for. To take care of the least of these, to share His word and to shine for Him. I stumbled upon this verse last week while doing my bible study, "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith." Galatians 6:9-10. How fitting for my life at this particular time I thought. God's timing is always perfect.

I ask that you pray with us, that we will not grow weary and lose heart. That we will stand firm and strong in our decision to answer God's call.  James 1:12 says, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." Please pray for these patients and their families as well. For God's healing and comfort, that God's hands will be upon them.


In Charles Stanley's book, Developing a Servants Heart, he says, "God calls us to be faithful. Ministry is not something we do for God, but something that God does through us. He is the One who calls us to service, enables us to serve, and produces His desired result form our service."


The Father who dwells in Me does the works.
 John 14:10

On the other hand, I'm constantly reminded of how blessed I am to be a part of God's plan. Blessed to be working with these people, the hospital patients and the staff. Blessed to be part of such an awesome missionary community, full of so much support for each other. I cannot imagine being anywhere else right now. In my heart I know this is where God wants us to be. And He will enable us to do His will! He will give us strength each day!

The View From the Kayak

I'll start this post off by saying that Rwanda is one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. To the surprise of many people that travel here, Rwanda is full of beautiful rolling hills, deep valleys, perfect 80 degree daytime temps and 60 degree nighttime temps year around, frequent evening rain showers often accompanied by magnificent lightning/thunder storms, green grass, banana plants, rice fields, tea fields, coffee plantations, and abundant gardens everywhere you look. Rwanda is home to an amazing 970 km2 (239,692 acre) rain forest that is home to 13 different primate species, 275 bird species, 1068 plant species, 85 mammal species, 32 amphibian and 38 reptile species. It's a far cry for the dusty, sandy, 120 degree days that most think of when they picture Africa.

Well, a few weeks ago we were enjoying an exceptionally beautiful day here in Rwanda. The sun was shining, the breeze was calm, the water was smooth and warm. It was a perfect day to be spending with the family at our favorite Rwanda get-away, Kumbya.

After spending some time relaxing in the shade, Stephanie and I decided to take the kayak out on the lake. As we were preparing to paddle away, Brandon decided that he wanted to ride with us. So, the three of us set off on what ended up being a 3 mile trip around Three Hump Island.

As we paddled and talked, I couldn't help but look around at the beauty that surrounded us. The beautiful, calm lake that we were kayaking on, the lush green rolling hills that surrounded us, the "dugout" fishing boats that passed in the distance... It was such a peaceful moment.

As I looked in awe at God's creation, I asked Brandon if, once we returned to America, he thought that he would miss being in Rwanda and being surrounded by all this beauty. His answer was a simple "no." I pried a bit and asked why he thought that. He simply explained that he misses his friends and can't wait to return to Texas to see them again. He went on to list a few other reasons that he'd rather be in good ol' Texas rather that Rwanda.

That got me thinking about how often I do the exact same thing. I think we all do. Rather than living in the moment and enjoying what we have, we often wish we were somewhere else doing something different. Rather than being thankful and happy with where we are or what we're doing, we always dream about how green the grass is on the other side.

We all see and feel this on a daily basis. Whether it's wanting a better job, a newer car, a bigger house, better health, bigger muscles, or simply just wanting to do more, we are all guilty of it. The reasoning seems pretty simple: we all think that that one extra thing will make us happy and, in turn, content.

The more I think about it, the more I think we have it backwards... It's human nature to think that happiness will bring contentment... There's always one more thing or a little more money that we need to make us content... Instead, we need to flip that and realize that we must first be content in order to be happy.

So, the logical question is: how can I possibly be content with the situation I'm in?

Well, take a look at the Apostle Paul's letter to the Philippians, where, from a prison cell (one that he thought he might die in), Paul testifies that he learned to be content in any situation:

I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:10-13

Paul "learned the secret" and reveals it to all by saying "I can do all things through him (Christ) who gives me strength." This means that all of us, in our relationship and active faith in Him, have the same power of contentment that the Apostle Paul had! That's great news!

Keep in mind that just as Jesus said "Without me you can do nothing" (John 15:5) doesn't mean non-believers can't have good relationships, friends, money, health, etc, "I can do all things" doesn't mean believers in Christ can have whatever they want or that Christians will never be faced with adversity. Instead, what Paul is teaching is that, if you trust in Christ, you can rely on His strength and be content wherever God leads you and in whatever situation you're put in. And, in that contentment, we will find joy and happiness in our hearts, and will, thus, bring honor and glory to God!

Now, I don't expect an 8 year old to understand that (though it didn't stop me from trying to explain... and received a blank stare in return), but I'm happy we had that conversation that day because in his innocent, unknowing way I learned a lot from him that day.

So, I've got to ask you: How's the view from your kayak?

Christmas Joy

This Christmas we were so richly blessed to be able to spread some Christmas joy to many impoverished Rwandan families. For many of these families, this was the first time they received gifts during the holiday season. It was such an amazing feeling to see the excitement on their faces!

It all started in November when I received an email from Beth Palmer, the Outreach Coordinator at our home church in Texas, saying that the church would like to donate $1,000 for us to use in the community. We contacted a man in Canada named John, who has been to Kibogora numerous times. John works with a non-profit organization called African Community for Sustainable Development (ACSD), who, among other things, provides wood-burning stoves that are up to 80% more efficient and greatly reduce the amount of smoke, thus improving the quality of indoor air. John put me in contact with the Rwanda director, Paul, who compiled a list of needy families around the Kibogora area. I was shocked to find out how far the $1,000 would go.

When I spoke to Paul, I told him that we would not only like to purchase stoves, but also provide
some rice, beans, and other beneficial items. Paul sent me back a list that made my jaw drop... The $1,000 that was donated by the loving members of our church family would be able to provide a high efficiency wood-burning stove, 5kg of beans, 5kg of rice, 1 liter of cooking oil, 1kg of salt, 1/2 a stick (about 3 bars) of soap, and water purification for 50 needy families.

50 families!?! For only $1,000!?! I'll admit that when we were in the States it was difficult for us to spend less than $1,000 on our own family for Christmas. Now we're being told that $1,000 will provide all the above gifts for 50 different families. How awesome is that?

Everything was approved, and on Saturday, December 20th, along with 2 ACSD field managers and another worker, we went to deliver the gifts to 5 of the 50 families.

The first stop was at the home of an elderly woman that was caring
for 2 young orphan boys. Her and the 2 children lived in a small mud house that was owned by a local church. She had an outdoor kitchen that had thick black soot on the walls and ashes all over the floor. She was so appreciative of the gifts and had a smile on her face that was so heart warming.


The next stop was at a small mud house owned by a very elderly woman, who had a 15 year old orphan living with her. The kitchen was inside the home. Unfortunately, the woman wasn't home when we arrived, so we presented the gifts to the boy that lived there. After playing with and handing out some toys to some of the local children that had gathered, we loaded back up into the vehicle and started heading back down the hill. When we got about half way down we passed an elderly woman that was being helped up the hill by two elderly men.

We found out that she was the owner of the home that we just visited! We gave her a ride up the rest of the hill, where one of the men that was with us carried her up to her home. When we arrived, we learned that she was sick and had just left the health clinic. When asked if the clinic found anything wrong and gave her medicine, she said that they told her she is just old and that she should return to her home and wait to die... this was by far the hardest stop of the day.

The third stop was the farthest from Kibogora. After almost getting the truck stuck trying to go up a steep hill, we decided it would be better to walk. There was a flat grassy area where the locals play football (soccer) next to where we parked, so our children all stayed and started a pickup game of "kick as hard as you can then run after the ball" with the local children. We headed up the hill to a small village, and went to a small mud house owned by an elderly woman. She was very excited, as were all the rest of the people of the village that came to see the mazungus! Some of the local children followed us down the hill, and Stephanie noticed one little girl that had shoes that were so small they had to cut the heel of the shoe out so her feet could fit (making them more like slippers). As we rounded the last corner and saw the soccer field, we noticed that our children had drawn in a large crowd as well. We looked around and saw that most of the children either had very old shoes or weren't wearing any shoes at all! We had brought a lot of flip flops that had been donated, and decided this was a great time to hand some out. Jaycee had some sandals and started handing those out as well. In all, I think we gave out well over 50 pairs of shoes!

Our fourth stop took us down a steep hill to a small house with a great view. This house was also
owned by an elderly woman, and she also was taking care of an orphan child. She had an outdoor kitchen that had no ventilation, so the inside walls were covered with soot in this one as well. The ACSD field manager said that they are going to cut in a window when they install the stove.

The last stop took us back up to Kibogora, where we walked a short distance down a hill. This was the largest of the homes we visited, and was owned by an elderly woman. She lived there with her 2 children. They were a happy family, and were very appreciative of the gifts they received.

It was such a great experience to be able to present these gifts on the behalf of Kerrville First United Methodist Church! After presenting the gifts to each widow, Stephanie or I would pray and one of the workers would translate. In each prayer we thanked God for these gifts, and especially thanked him for the gift of Jesus Christ! This was a Christmas that we'll never forget!

Pictures from an amazing day!

Daniel! :-)

 It was a picture perfect day: the sun directly overhead, the water frozen in time; not a wave to be seen, the mountainous hills cresting up and above the horizon. If it had not been for the roof above our heads on the boat, acting as a sun block, we would be sweating. Kids who saw us on the shore would run along side us as best they could, waving and shouting. Their voices were filled with laughter  while they shouted their favorite word: "muzungu, muzungu!"

Today was going to be nothing super extroidinary. Just some friends and family that wanted to pretend to be typical tourists for a day and take a boat ride tour of the lake. 

I guess you're wondering why im telling you all this. Well, a few months ago, our very own church visited us here in Rwanda!! It was a time of joy and learning, and we were very sad to see them go. While they were here, they accomplished many things. But, sometimes the simple things are the ones that can mean the most. While they were painting schools, handing out food and clothes to old people, visiting poor children, and praying over people that desperatley needed it, they were also doing something that would last much, much longer. 

Forming relationships.

And one of the most rewarding, best relationships that was made in this action packed week was with sweet Daniel.

Jaycee and Daniel!!

Daniel, from what we learned, was a lively 10 year old with a machete wound on his ankle. He never changed out of his school uniform (probably because that's the only thing article of clothing he owned) and never, ever stopped laughing. His smile lit up the room. We instantly fell in love with him. He was so much fun to be around, from laughing at our failed attempts of speaking Kinyarwanda or teaching us new games. When the church group had to leave to go back to the states, there was more than a few shed tears while they said their goodbyes. Just a few short days later he left the hospital unannounced and my heart broke in two because I never got to say goodbye!
 Jaycee and I had talked about visiting him ever since he left. We only had one piece of information: he lived at Shara. Shara is a remote village, and to get there you had to 1) get a boat somehow 2) go all the way there and 3) climb up the biggest hill in the entire world (seriously... it might as well be Mt. Everest)

Fast forward to today. My dads parents being here, he really wanted to take them on a boat ride. Today we packed our bags and hiked down to the waters edge before boarding.  One of the stops along the way: Shara!

So, as our shaded, more than perfect boat sliced through the crystal blue water, Jaycee and I were bouncing up and down. We didn't think we would actually find him! We didn't really have a plan, either. 

We neared the town and all the kids in a seeing distance began to run down the hill like ants. Their smiles were huge and they were awe struck as we got out of the boat. Wow, white people!

Jaycee immediately went up to the first group of kids she saw and started asking them if they knew were Daniel was in Kinyirwanda. They just laughed! So, Jaycee and I began up mini Mt. Everest.

20 years later (okay... 5 minutes) we reached the top. We were so out of breath that we could barely even talk. There was a woman standing right next to us and we decided to ask her. Maybe she knew Daniel? 

Jaycee pulled up an old, dark photo of him on her phone and said his name, again asking where he was in kinyirwanda. It wasn't much, but it was all we had. The lady seemed doubtful and was about to hand the phone back when she goes, "OOOH!" and waved her buddy in a beanie over. They spoke in Kinyirwanda for what seemed like ages before they started saying "yego, yego." (yes, yes). Then the man in the beanie began to lead us farther up the hill. Our hearts soured with possibility! We only hoped that he wasn't going to take us a few miles down the road, and that Daniels house was instead close by. 

We followed him and our new little group of kids followed us. We were probably such a sight! We wove in between houses, corn fields, and big roads. At one point the man stopped and asked someone else something and we weren't even sure if he knew exactly where he was taking us. But, finally, he stopped in front of a small house and pointed and did the little Rwandan eyebrow raise thing which basically can mean anything, but in this case was, "we have made it. your friend is here and your long awaited search is over!" 

We looked around but didn't see Daniel anywhere. My heart fell. I should have known that he wasn't going to be there. He was probably miles off, getting water or feeding the cow or something. Just when my heart hit the bottom, someone in the front yard of what I assume is his house yelled down the road.  Jaycee and I rounded the corner and.... there he was!!!

Our Daniel! Jaycee yelled "Daniel!!!" and held out her arms. He immediately dropped the stuff he was carrying and ran into Jaycees arm and then mine, all the while with the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face. Jaycee started tearing up and I was so happy I couldn't be still. We had found him! Against all odds, we had really found him. 

some village people that came to see what was happening

The next 10-20 minutes were a blur, but I know that we somehow made it back to the main part of the village and met up with my parents there. My dad was running around pretending to chase the little kids, and my mom and mimi were shaking hands and laughing and taking it all in. Daniel was laughing and Jaycee and I were still astonished. Our hearts were overjoyed!! 

We made our way back down the hill after spending a few short minutes with him. It was too soon, but we had to go because the boat ride was paid by time. As we gave our last hugs goodbye, it was with a full heart. This time we knew we would definitely be coming back to see him again!!

Brandon and I on the boat

on the boat to Shara

they loved Jaycees phone!

Brandon and Ildephonses son, Kristoff

walking back from Daniels house after we had found him

Brandon feeling the cool water on such a hot day!

Getting on the boat

So happy, but so tired!

Daniel and I :-)

The main road in the village

I cant wait to go visit him and all the other little kids in his village again. I am so, so grateful that God brought him into our lives and that the church group took the time to form relationships during their stay!! Without them, we probably wouldn't know Daniel at all.