The Will to do More

We're almost there... in little over two weeks we'll load onto the plane and leave this country that we've grown to love. The craziness of trying to finish the unfinished, accomplish the un-accomplished, and greet the un-greeted is in full swing. The burden of time is weighing on us... it feels like there's so much left to do. Regardless of what we have accomplished, there's always that feeling that we could have and should have done more.

We ask ourselves questions like "Should we have pushed ourselves on the weekend instead of relaxing at Kumbya or resting at home?" or "Should we have used the money we spent on 'such-and-such' and used it the help someone here instead?"

Don't get me wrong, we are aware of the good we've done here... The things we've accomplished at the hospital and mission... helping children stay free from disease or malnourishment... helping children get an education by providing an opportunity to go to school... helping adults have a brighter future by assisting them with financial means to go to university... helping widows and orphan children by providing clean burning stoves, food, water purifiers, and medical insurance… Many of these we didn't budget for. In many cases, we made sacrifices to assist someone else in need.

But, in actuality, the above victories aren't ours at all. All the honor and glory goes straight to God! He is the reason we're here; He's the reason we have the necessary skills to accomplish all that we have here; He's the one that gave us strength; He's the one that gave us the necessary funds; He's the one that put those that are listed above in front of us; and He's the one that moved us to help them.

So why do we feel this way? Why do we feel like we could've done more? I believe it's because God made us that way. The pain and suffering of His people breaks His heart, and He wants to use those of us that are able, to help those that are in need. It's a feeling we should all have, not just missionaries about to leave the country they're serving in. We should feel the will to do more because we know there's more around us that needs to be done. But we must realize that the feeling is positive, not negative. God gives us the will and strength to do more. Satan gives us feelings of being insufficient for not doing enough.

As difficult as it is, we shouldn't mistake the feeling of wanting to do more with feelings of inadequacy. God knows our time here in Rwanda is coming to a close. At that time, we know He will use our willingness to serve and will turn those feelings of "wanting to do more" to light a fire for something else He has lined up for us to do in Texas.

In the mean time, we know that we'll be super busy over our last 2 weeks here. We will dearly miss our friends and colleagues here in Rwanda, but we're super excited to see what He has in store for us in the future! Regardless of what it is or where we are, we are ready and willing to do more for Him!